When You're Jealous of Someone Else's Joy - Your Nightly Prayer - October 30th

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When You’re Jealous of Someone Else’s Joy
Your Nightly Prayer
By Tracie Miles

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” – Romans 12:15 (NIV)

SOMETHING TO PONDER

Over fifteen years ago, I found myself sitting in a parking lot in my car, dabbing tears with the edge of a crumpled fast food napkin from the glove compartment. I had just come from lunch with a friend who excitedly shared that her book was being published — a dream she had prayed for, worked toward, and waited on.

I smiled, congratulated her, and even bought her lunch to celebrate. But the moment I got into my car, the tears came.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy for her. I truly was. But if I’m honest, her good news stirred something in me I didn’t want to admit: Why not me, Lord?

At the time, I had been pursuing publishing for years. I had written multiple book proposals, queried countless agents and publishers, faced rejection, put in the late nights, and prayed for open doors. And still — silence. It felt like I had been in a holding pattern, while others around me were taking flight. I had gotten so frustrated that I finally just decided to push that dream aside and accept that maybe I had heard God’s calling wrong.

I wasn’t mad at God. I wasn’t angry with my friend. But I was grieving something I hadn’t realized I was still holding onto: the ache of dreams unfulfilled.

Romans 12:15 tells us plainly:  “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

It sounds simple on paper. But when real emotions are involved — envy, disappointment, grief, insecurity — this command can feel like a heart-stretching assignment.

The truth is that it’s easier to cry with someone who's grieving than to cheer for someone who’s getting what you long for. It feels more natural to sit beside someone in pain than to stand beside someone in celebration when your heart feels left behind.

But both are biblical. Both are Christlike. And both require surrender.

Later that night, I opened my Bible to Romans 12 and read the verse again. I asked God to help me understand what it really means to live that out — especially when your heart is caught in between.

As I prayed, I sensed the Holy Spirit gently whisper:
You can mourn your own delay and still celebrate someone else's breakthrough.
You can feel sadness and still choose joy for someone else.

That realization brought freedom. God wasn’t asking me to pretend I wasn’t disappointed. He was inviting me to bring my full self — grief, jealousy, and all — and let Him transform it into compassion.

Jesus is the ultimate picture of Romans 12:15 in action, and there are so many stories in scripture where we see him living out this command. He didn’t skip over joy or grief — He entered fully into both.

If we want to love like Jesus, we need to learn how to hold space for someone else’s celebration and our own sadness. We need to be present, not perform. We need to let go of self-centered measuring sticks and embrace Spirit-led empathy.

Sometimes we don’t want to rejoice with others because we think celebrating them somehow means sidelining ourselves. But God's math doesn't work like ours. His blessings aren't pie slices — if He gives one to someone else, it doesn’t mean there’s less left for you.

Rejoicing with someone who is living your dream — getting married, getting pregnant, publishing a book, starting a ministry, receiving the promotion you wanted, seeing prayers being answered  — doesn’t mean God forgot you. It means He’s working uniquely in both of your stories. And often, our ability to celebrate in someone else's season is the very thing that softens and prepares our hearts for our own.

This verse doesn’t just call us to rejoice; it also calls us to mourn. Sometimes we're quick to skip over others’ sorrow because it makes us uncomfortable. Or we want to offer solutions instead of simply being present. But “mourn with those who mourn” is a call to come alongside, not fix.
To sit in the ashes with them, not sweep them away. To say, "I'm here," instead of "You'll be fine."

Real love doesn't rush pain or pretend it’s not there. It simply stays.

Back to that day in the car — after my tears had dried and my heart had quieted, I texted my friend. I told her again how proud I was. But this time, my heart was free from comparison. My joy for her was real, even if it was born through tears.

It didn’t mean my dream had died. It just meant I could celebrate hers without holding my own hostage. And something surprising happened — when I let go of needing it to be my turn, I felt lighter. Freer. More at peace.

Best of all, eventually, my publishing dream came true, and I’ve published eight books in the last twelve years. But I often wonder if God waited for my heart to be ready not just to write a book but to love others well in the process. He knew when it would be my turn, and His timing for every open door since then has been perfect.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Dear Lord,  
You know how hard it can be to rejoice when I feel left out — and how awkward it can be to mourn when I don’t know what to say. Grow in me a heart that is not ruled by comparison or discomfort, but shaped by Your Spirit. Teach me to celebrate others freely and to comfort others compassionately. Help me to remember that You hear my prayers too, and that in your timing, all things work for the good of those who are called to serve You with purpose. Thank You that You meet me in my own moments of both joy and sorrow. Help me love like You do.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

1. Am I Willing to Celebrate Others, Even When I’m Still Waiting?
“Rejoice with those who rejoice… Ask yourself: Can I truly be happy for others even when they’re receiving something I’ve prayed for? What might God want to teach me through their breakthrough while I wait for mine?

2. Have I Allowed God to Meet Me in My Own Mourning?
“…mourn with those who mourn.” Take time to consider if you've been rushing past your own sorrow or trying to minimize someone else's. Where might God be inviting you to slow down and feel — both your own pain and others’ — with compassion?

3. What Does Love Require of Me Today — Empathy or Celebration?
Living out Romans 12:15 means choosing connection over comparison. Reflect: Who in my life needs my presence more than my opinion? How can I show up today in a way that reflects Jesus’ heart — whether through sitting in the ashes or dancing in the joy?

Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Viacheslav Peretiatko

Tracie Miles is a popular Author Coach who equips and inspires aspiring writers to pursue their publishing dreams and is also a Christian Literary Agent at Tracie Miles Literary. She is the Author of eight best-selling books, including God’s Got You, Living Unbroken, Living Unbroken: A Divorce Recovery Workbook, Love Life Again, Unsinkable Faith, and Stress Less Living. She is a member of the devotions team for the Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today daily devotions, as well as Christianity.com devotions contributor team. Tracie has three grown children, plus a daughter and son-in-law, all of whom live in Charlotte, North Carolina, and enjoys spending time with friends, family and loving on her little grandbabies.  You can find out more about Tracie on her website at www.traciemiles.com as well as connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

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